My father, who commanded a destroyer during World War II and spent time sailing in the Caribbean, was baffled by the fact that he had never heard of the Turks and Caicos.  So we checked it out on a map.  Much to his relief, it was located where no ships had a reason to venture and is surrounded by treacherous reefs and shoals.

I have included the map because I didn’t really know where it was either.

It also turns out that there wasn’t much going on there after about 1815.  You see, the Turks and Caicos were the largest producer of salt in the world for 250 years or so before that.  However, their principal market, the United States, fizzled out around then because the Turks were under British rule and and we were doing our darnedest not to be.

Then in the 1970s some smart person realized there were really gorgeous beaches there and started building lovely resort hotels.  Here’s ours, the Seven Stars:

There’s still not a lot going on there, except vacations, and that makes it a very relaxing place.  However, after our voyage to the Galapagos, Darling Daughter and I have become connoisseurs of rare lizards (among other creatures) so we were very excited to learn about the presence of the rock iguana, a critically endangered species endemic to the Turks and Caicos.  So we signed up for an expedition to Little Water Cay where they are protected.

Here’s a handsome specimen strolling over the sand.

Can you see the dorsal fins down his back? Evidently, those are more pronounced in rock iguanas than in their brethren.

On that same expedition, we went diving for conch.  Can you see the fellow’s eyes in this photo?

It made me feel a little guilty because later we ate him.  Our guide made the most delicious fresh conch salad while we were out lizard-watching.  Darling Daughter brought home his shell as a beautiful souvenir so nothing went to waste.

Honestly though, mostly we just lounged on the beach, drinking dacquiris.

And we admired the view.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

By the way, I brought back a gorgeous pair of earrings from our trip which I’m offering as a prize in my website contest.  If you want to see them (and perhaps win them!), hop on over to www.NancyHerkness.com.

You progress through various “rooms” (including a ballroom with a 10,000 pipe organ!).  There’s a wonderfully whimsical Children’s Garden where the statues are dressed for the season.

I’m partial to topiary so I liked this  particular detail.

In the desert room, there was a wreath made of succulents.

In the tropical room the Christmas tree was made of bromeliads and such exotics.

The theme was gingerbread so they had trees made of it and decorated with it, and even a replica of the Glass House itself in gingerbread.

My personal favorite?  The rose room with its pendant stars.  Pure delight!

Wishing you the happiest of holiday seasons and a wonderful 1012!

And it’s ecologically responsible: the water pressure powers the LED colors.  No batteries necessary!  It’s a disco inferno with a built-in sprinkler system. Burn, baby, burn! Now all he needs is microphone-shaped soap.

$34.98 (or $29.98 for two or more) at The Lighter Side.

You thought I was kidding about the soap but here it is, just in case you want to add it to his stocking.

It’s $5.95 from Soap on a Rope. com.

It comes with 2 individual mittens for your outside hands and one shared mitten that fits over your interlocked hands.  All in a lovely, fashion-forward shade of bright orange.  Add hot chocolate, a sled-for-two, and a snowball fight (although that might be hard with the conjoined hands), and you’ll be one cute couple.

$19.98 at The Lighter Side.

Yes, it’s Weener Kleener Soap.  The name alone had me in stitches.  It promises to make personal hygiene more stimulating and guarantees that “a few quick strokes will clean most appendages.”  Make sure the recipient reads the “Caution” at the bottom of the packaging.

2 for $11 at Things You Never Knew Existed.

Wrap this up with a card that says, “You’re my hero.” How can he not put it on after that?  Now you can wrap yourself up in your own normal, solid-colored Snuggie, secure in the knowledge that he won’t dare make fun of you ever again.

Once more, it’s from Things You Never Knew Existed.  Just $29.98.

Billed as the “manliest bearded hat ever”, this “slips over your head to give you an instant burly look.”

I’m not sure “burly” is quite the right word for this fashion statement.

Note: the mustache is removable, thank goodness!  So if your guy always wanted to grow a beard,  you can give him a crocheted one for $27.98 at www.thingsyouneverknew.com.

The good news is you can own this entertaining, if a little odd, wine bottle holder all for yourself.  It’s only $38.00 and can be ordered here: http://www.femailcreations.com/products/sku-2117430.html.

Yes, it’s time for my annual selection of strange and wonderful holiday gifts.  I comb the tons of catalogs that make my mailman hate me this time of year for the most head-scratching/laugh-inducing/recipient-insulting items to help you knock off your holiday shopping list.

Check back here to see what’s next…

Our room was in this charming little cottage (the one on the right):

It even had a jacuzzi:

However, two factors interfered with our romance:

1) It poured rain almost the entire time we were there, which could still have worked (a jacuzzi and a four-poster bed!). However,

2) I had a terrible sinus infection so my mood was about as far from romantic as it could get.

But there was this lovely window seat where I could curl up and read:

I didn’t have to feel guilty that I wasn’t doing the laundry or walking the dogs or taking care of the thousand other things one needs to do when one is at home.  And in the little field right outside the window were…

…sheep.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the country , but I found watching the silly, fluffy creatures wandering around their pasture incredibly relaxing.  I could gaze at them for long stretches of time without getting bored.  When I’d been away from the window for a while, I would go back and check to see where they had wandered in my absence.   I found all my frustration at being sick just floating away.

In fact, by the last day of our stay, I felt well enough to take a stroll along the tow path and enjoy the beauty of the Delaware River (when the rain stopped for awhile).

Some people might give the credit to antibiotics, but I firmly believe the sheep cured me.

We were out snorkeling when we came upon penguins roosting on the rocks (where they nest in burrows and crevices). There was lots of picture-taking.

See the white line curving around this fellow’s face?  That’s characteristic of the Galapagos penguin. They stand only 19 inches tall and weigh about five pounds.

While kayaking later in the day, we found a couple of more penguins, posing nicely on the rocks.

This little fellow below must be immature because he lacked the white line on the face:

There are less than 1,000 of the Gaalpagos penguins now, due to El Nino warming the waters around the Galapagos. The penguins count on the cold Humboldt Current to bring the fish they eat past the islands and food has been scarce.  Evidently, it’s quite possible they will disappear all together in the future. Such a very sad thought.

Finally, the absolute best experience: we were all suited up for snorkeling off the beach when we asked our fabulous (and energetic) guide Fausto if there was any chance of swimming with the penguins. He thought about it for a minute, then said, “Let’s try it. Everyone who wants to swim with penguins, jump in the Zodiac.”  Our Zodiac pilot turned out to be an excellent penguin spotter.  He observed a flock of penguins feeding farther along the coast, and we headed after them.

We discovered that penguins move very, very fast in the water.  It took three tries (12 snorkelers jumping into the water, then clambering back into the Zodiac again) to get in position in front of the penguins. But when we did: unbelievable!

We dropped into an empty stretch of water, and followed Fausto along the coast. Suddenly, out of nowhere dozens of penguins came shooting through the water toward us, swirling all around us as they nabbed the silvery fish fleeing in front of them. The penguins paid no attention to us, bobbing to the surface to breathe right alongside us snorkelers.

I wish I could have caught an underwater shot but my camera’s slow shutter had no chance of capturing the speedy creatures.  I swear they are jet-propelled.

One of the things I noticed when a penguin bobbed up right beside me was that their feet look padded and kind of squishy. I hope you can see how thick they are in this shot.

It was just another magical moment in the Galapagos tradition.